Aging Parents and Elder Care logo

Support Group

Find Senior Care Services for Your Loved One

We have partnered with A Place for Mom to help you find the right senior care services for your loved one. A Place for Mom has established a nationwide network of carefully screened senior care providers and facilities ... everything from home care and assisted living to specialized memory care facilities. We are pleased to bring their referral service to you free of charge. (A Place for Mom is paid by their participating senior care providers and facilities.)

A Place for Mom has been helping seniors and their families find the best senior care for their needs and budget for over 10 years. Their knowledgeable and compassionate Senior Living Advisors will guide you through your search and can provide local support and resources. Let A Place for Mom help you online or call toll-free (877) 311-6092.

Sign up

  Author   Comment  

Posts: 1
Reply with quote  #1 
My in-laws moved in with us in 2016. My MIL has Progressive Supranuclear Palsy and her condition is deteriorating. She needs constant care including feeding herself. My FIL had a stroke in March of 2016 which is what initiated them moving in. My FIL seems to be fully physically recovered from the stroke, we were able to catch it really early. Except for he keeps having bathroom accidents. At least once a week usually more. We have had him tested, for b12 deficiencies and through the MRI, the seems to be no sign of dementia.

My husband is a hands off kinda guy. He leaves everything for me to handle. But I don't know how to handle this. Does anyone have any suggestions? Is there anything else I should have him tested for?

Tammy [crazy]

Posts: 53
Reply with quote  #2 
I don't know a lot medically. I have known 2 people with supranuclear palsy and they both required a tremendous amount of care.

I'm more troubled by your comments at dealing with this alone. Not sure if you're handling medical decisions and/or the day to day care. Are their familiar doctors close by or were they moved from a distance? I'd start with the doctors and nurses by asking a lot of questions. And do you even have POA?

I hate to say things like " you should", but your husband's role in this is big. Does he have siblings? Lots of family dynamics in all this ---- which just about everybody on this site can attest to!
Reply with quote  #3 
In a caregiving situation, there seems to be a "hands off" person who wants to leave another family member as the "sole hand" to take care of increasing duties.  The time will come when you need to stand up for yourself, because you will be worn down and your own health will suffer.  If you have a person in your lives that can help mediate, start now.

Best wishes,


Posts: 13
Reply with quote  #4 
I had a similar situation last year as well with both my parents. I am an only child so the burden is solely on me. My Dad also had a stroke, and the bathroom issues have become unmanageable. First off - you will not be able to care for them both without help, and secondly this will affect your health though it may be hard to see how at this time. If you can get them into assisted living with a memory care unit, that is a great option. By the way - memory care just means that they have more staff available to assist with everything from feeding, dressing, toileting, etc. what ever happens, remember to value your own life and well being.

Mike Gamble

Super Moderators
Posts: 55
Reply with quote  #5 
Excellent Advice, Terpin!
Previous Topic | Next Topic

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.