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Joey

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Posts: 1
Reply with quote  #1 
Hi, I'm the new kid on the block.  I'm 83 years old and my husband is 87, soon to be 88. We've been married for 63 years.  I've been his caregiver for at least 10 years.  I never dreamed it could be so hard.  He can do some things for himself..just a few..and I'm in charge of everything else and I mean everything and that includes whatever it takes to run a household - we're still in the house we've lived in for over 50 years.  I do all the money business, car business, yard, groceries, 2 little dogs (and they are part of the problem as far as I'm concerned) washing, getting meals, making dr. appt's and getting us there.  And the list goes on and on. I'm never in bed at night until 11:00 or after and up by 6:30.  I'm tired when I get up and tired when I go to bed.

Last night I had a real meltdown...the end of my rope and there wasn't a knot.  For awhile I knew I had to do something and get some outside help.  Our daughter does what she can but she works, etc, and even though I appreciate her and her husband doing what they can it just isn't enough sometimes. So I started checking on some agencies and what they do and how much it costs, etc.  It seemed very hard for me for some reason to think about someone coming in for 4 or 5 hours.  I just couldn't get my head around that. So I talked with the owner of an agency that has no minimum hours and I'm going to start with "baby steps" and have someone come for 3 hours and at a time that I can get AWAY FROM THIS HOUSE!  I'll start with once a week and see how it goes.

One good thing I've been doing for over a year is having the groceries delivered once a week.  That has helped tremendously.

When you're young you don't think about getting older and being a caregiver and I took care of my Dad but never thought it would happen to us.  And, of course, this is very hard on my husband.  I told him this is the "through sickness and health" part of our marriage vows.

Thanks for listening.

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Joann Traver
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Christa4

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Posts: 51
Reply with quote  #2 
You sound like a remarkable woman. I hope you continue to find ways to lighten the pressure.
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