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Reply with quote  #31 
Originally Posted by gloria
My mother has had dementia for the past 10 years.  She maintained a fairly happy lifestyle until she could no longer crochet.. She stopped watching tv 2 years ago because she couldn't understand it anymore.   just this last year, all she wants to do is sleep.  When I go to get her up in the morning, she says "please just let me lay for a few more minutes.'  I go in there and find her snoring for the next 2 hours.  I know she is at peace with her sleep. I have to force her up to eat and have coffee and all she says and wants to talk about is how tired she is and "can I go back to bed now?"  We've tried to engage her, get her to fold clothes, water plants,dust but to no avail..I think she finds her peace at sleep.  Would you want to live if you cannot do purposeful things and see how you are losing your independance every day?  One day I will do exactly what she wants and let her sleep allllllllll day.  After all she says to me "i have had to get up every morning all my life and I think I have earned this."     Just a thougt
Reply with quote  #32 
This is so sad!  Just hard to put into words  how I feel!  My mother is deteriorating so quickly.  She has dementia and just wants to sleep all the time.  Will eat and drink if I bring it to her.  she lives at home with my dad and  handicapped brother.  No one there tends to her like they need to and they won't let her come to live with me.  I feel so helpless.  Anyone that has any perspective on this would be welcomed.  I need some support.  I just don't know what to do.  Thank you.
Jan to Denise
Reply with quote  #33 
Denise, I'm so sorry to read your post, you are so worried about your Mum and trying to find a way to help her.   I guess it's your Dad and Brother who won't let her go but do you think, if there isn't one already, that they would accept a carer going into the house to her if say, you could organise it?   Maybe just a few visits would allow some kind of assessment of how she is being cared for and perhaps then, some other decisions more helpful to your Mum could be considered.   It's so hard to watch someone we love deteriorate but maybe there are still options for your Mum that would make her more comfortable at the very least.   There will be more helpful suggestions and advice from the others very soon and I hope that there will be an answer that works for you.

Good luck and take care, Jan.
Reply with quote  #34 
Hello everyone and thank you!

I have been reading all your experiences and they have been so moving and helpful. Both my parents have dementia (vascular and Altzheimers). It has been the most difficult 2 years of my life. The whole thing. Financial, mental, emotional, stress, frustration, confusion, anger, sobbing, screaming, fighting - and that's just me!
The often disgusting lack of knowledge in SOME care homes, the fight for human dignity, the tunnel that never seems to end.....being an attorney for both of them, having to learn the legal aspects on the run...the fear of getting it wrong.....and all this before one even comes to terms with what is happening to your loved one....
I took the route of alternative medicine with both my parents (acupuncture, herbal remedies and healing) alongside orthodox medicine and l have to say it brings a completely different light on the whole situation and has kept me going...and them-
The excessive sleeping has now hit mum...but we try to keep a balance. Sleep, days out, stimulation, more sleep, good food and fun. As long as it is done with kindness and compassion. Balance is the key. A little bit of this and then a bit of that-every day. Routine and flexibility.
But whatever you are doing make sure that you force yourself to sleep, eat well and take exercise too. Even 10 minutes of 'me' time a day is guilt. Guilt changes nothing-what will be will be whether you are feeling guilty or not. And keep your friends in the loop. It is easy to lose sight of them when you are overworked and exhausted. Make 1 call a day to a friend......they miss you.
Keep the faith
Reply with quote  #35 
Denise sounds like you need to call local city or county senior social services to visit for your mom's good.
Reply with quote  #36 
Hello I was reading the article about your mom sleeping sideways my mom does the same she says she does it so she won’t fall off her bed she feels safer so I let
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