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Terpin

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Posts: 13
Reply with quote  #1 
For those of us who are caring for Narcissistic parents and have come to understand the havoc they caused in our lives, this obit was especially moving to me.

"The family of late Galveston man Leslie Ray Charping published an obituary on the website of Carnes Funeral Home that declined to pull any punches after the man died at the age of 75 -- "which was 29 years longer than expected and much longer than he deserved."  

The obituary says Charping "leaves behind two relieved children" as well as "six grandchildren and countless other victims including an ex wife, relatives, friends, neighbors, doctors, nurses and random strangers."

"At a young age, Leslie quickly became a model example of bad parenting combined with mental illness and a complete commitment to drinking, drugs, womanizing and being generally offensive," the obituary reads.

The family says Charping was "surprisingly intelligent," but failed to find professional success due to a lack of ambition and motivation.

"Leslie's hobbies included being abusive to his family, expediting trips to heaven for the beloved family pets, and fishing, which he was less skilled with than the previously mentioned. Leslie's life served no other obvious purpose, he did not contribute to society or serve his community and he possessed no redeeming qualities besides quick [witted] sarcasm, which was amusing during his sober days.

With Leslie's passing he will be missed only for what he never did; being a loving husband, father and good friend. No services will be held, there will be no prayers for eternal peace and no apologizes to the family he tortured. Leslie's remains will be cremated and kept in the barn until "Ray", the family donkey's wood shavings run out. Leslie's passing proves that evil does in fact die and hopefully marks a time of healing and safety for all."

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Christa4

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Posts: 47
Reply with quote  #2 
Thanks for sharing this. A little harsh.... whew.... made me laugh .... which is a good thing.
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Terpin

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Posts: 13
Reply with quote  #3 
I can relate to this because I'm taking care of my NARC mother. I didn't always realize she was a narc -I just thought she liked to cause me pain for the f***k of it. This family is very lucky to be together in their healing. For the record I went through a grieving period when I fully understood that mom is a narc and never loved me as her only daughter. when she passes, it will be the beginning of the final healing for me.
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Vintagekelley

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Posts: 9
Reply with quote  #4 
I've seen this obit and it is harsh, but this poor family went through hell.

I am wondering how I will feel when my narc mom finally passes. She has had ALZ since 2008 and is still plugging away.

She's not as mean as she was, which means all of the staff at her assisted living think she is so funny and sweet. WRONG. That is not my mother. Mine gave me a scale one year for Christmas(because she thought I needed a more sturdy one), also scotch tape, because why wouldn't your daughter want 10 rolls? She would pout if she didn't get her way at family gatherings (literally purse her mouth and cross her arms).

I am still mourning my dad's passing after 3 years, but not sure I will feel anything when mom goes as really, she is already gone.

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Vintagekelley
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Terpin

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Posts: 13
Reply with quote  #5 
Have to admit I liked the "directness" of the obit, and it very much mirrored my feelings. On many levels I have been able to forgive my mother, since I personally believe that being a narc was not always her fault. That said, she has left me with a lot of bad memories, and an inner-sadness that will never heal until after she's gone.

I just took her to some events for a conference we hosted this weekend and of course she was the bell of the ball. Hopefully she re-filled her narc tanks.
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Rene Unas

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Posts: 6
Reply with quote  #6 

Read through the posts and while the negativity may have been unfortunate, the general sentiment of relief is justified.

Especially if it comes from the children who experienced first-hand the abuse and control and for those living with one, the uncertainty until when this has to be endured.

But a lot could have been done to prevent this “hell-like” situation.

Forget the narc parent. He/she is absolutely beyond redemption. The best that could be done is to control the negative effects of their behavior.

Instead, focus on the doable and what could still be saved – the current and future victims.

You and your (or future) children, respectively.

With the latter getting into the picture, the overall perspective and approach to this situation is dramatically changed.

More importantly, the need to implement the solution is accelerated.

This was what my close friend who was similarly situated had in mind when he approached me for help.

This was also what I had in my mind when I researched the materials to help him address his situation.

The overall or big objective – RAISE A HAPPY FAMILY.

How did we do it?

To get some ideas, click my name and proceed to the URL address specified.

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