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StrongMaple

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Hi I just wanted to say hi and thank Mike and everyone here for this site. I have never done this before but I am glad I'm trying it out. I am so exhausted today so I may not post for a while but I am so relieved and grateful to have this resource here. Just reading the posts help me so much so I don't feel so alone and overwhelmed.
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TaraG

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Reply with quote  #2 
Welcome! It really helps to know there are others in the same boat, or who,have even more challenges than I do
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StrongMaple

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Hi thanks Tara and everyone.
I have so much in common with so many people here. I am in my early 40's looking after my Dad in his late 80's with Parkinson's. I just moved him into a nursing home. The last two years have been crazy. His wife left him because she couldn't handle the disease and everything with it. They are still married though. She lives far away, needs a plane trip to come and visit. Managing the money and finances is a lot of headache at the moment since they won't divide the money. I can't access POA with the joint account. It is taking so much work to get this done. I moved my Dad three times in less than two years. He just got out of two hospital stays that lasted about five months.
I'm lucky he still has his mind but he is in denial his disease is taking over.
I was hoping to get my life going now he is in a nursing care facility.
I was working as a care aid myself but I found it too much as I was also looking after my Mom before she passed away. And now looking after Dad these last few years I am so burnt out. So I have been working as a house cleaner because the pay is good, my clients are wonderful and have been very flexible with my care giving needs that come up. The job however is exhausting.
I just reached my breaking point as I ran out of savings. I need to get more work. I recently got a job two nights as a dishwasher. It is very hard work too.
I'm annoyed my life has been put on the back burner. Even though I love my Dad and will be with him to the end.
When I look for new jobs I'm not qualified it seems so I have to do these jobs until I can get money to do some online courses. I'm not sure I will last long as a dishwasher. It is a lot of lifting and reaching and I am already so tired.
I am going to keep looking for other work and keep my sights on getting more education. I have to set this goal and stick to it.
I am the last person standing in the family unit at this point. My family had been torn to shreds with everything and everyone's personalities and histories and coping skills and poor communication and poor coping skills. I think it is very sad that families get torn apart and can't stick together.
I'm doing my best.
My anxiety is great.
I try and take it one moment at a time.
It's hard to juggle all these things.
Thanks for listening.
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Olderdaughter

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Reply with quote  #4 
Quote:
Originally Posted by StrongMaple
Hi I just wanted to say hi and thank Mike and everyone here for this site. I have never done this before but I am glad I'm trying it out. I am so exhausted today so I may not post for a while but I am so relieved and grateful to have this resource here. Just reading the posts help me so much so I don't feel so alone and overwhelmed.
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Olderdaughter

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Reply with quote  #5 
Welcome to the group.  I have really benefited by finding this group.  It has helped me.  
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Splotchy
Reply with quote  #6 
Strong Maple,

Welcome! I hope you can find some support here.

I am in in my fifties, but for most of my life, I was like you.  I put my needs (and time and career) on the back burner in order to take care of others.   I sacrificed many things that were very important to me because I thought I had to.  And while I do think it's honorable to care for people, we also must take care of ourselves.  If we keep putting our own authentic needs on the back burner, we run the risk of completely losing ourselves.

You mentioned that you wanted to further your education, and I strongly hope that if there is any possible way to start doing that, you will.  If money is a problem, maybe you can talk to someone at a local community college and see if there are any grants or scholarships you may qualify for. It may not change your current circumstances, but it may give you something to look forward to. You don't want to end up without a good job or the means to support yourself after your father passes.  You owe it to yourself to invest in yourself now.

Good luck on your journey and let us know if we can help.



  



 
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StrongMaple

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Reply with quote  #7 
Thanks very much all of you for your support. I am carving out times in the week to keep looking into online schooling. Tomorrow after work is booked for me. I'm going to call some places. I will be looking at student loans and was looking at grants last week. It may all take some time to come to fruition but working on it bit by bit keeps me going. Keeps me looking forward to something good.
Someone mentioned the karpman drama triangle on another post. My councillor has been teaching me about this.
I was invited on the triangle the last two days- I said no! I'm proud of myself for recognizing this and staying out of it.
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