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Ihatemyself
Reply with quote  #1 

I hate my fat ass dad, He always try to control me since I was a child, He always try use me to get what he wants in life. He always trying to make feel like I can't do anything in life. He always trying to make me feel guilty with his manipulate. He is the reason I never had a life, I'm 24 years old still stuck in his house because he makes me feel guilty with his negative comments. If I want move out, he gets mad, and try to manipulated  me, and tell me I'm a girl and I will get killed going to the world by myself and use the bible to keep me in order. I wish he was dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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anon
Reply with quote  #2 
I'm so sorry that you are going thru this and have been all of your life.

My advice is to get out now. It's not too late for you, you are only 24. Believe me, there are a lot of people restarting their life at 50.

Don't think you have wasted you life. Take what you have learned and all the strength you have from your experiences with your father and use it in the world. Listen, if you are dealing with a parent with a personality disorder (which it sounds like something is going on)... you have the strength to make it in the world.

Please, Please get excited about your life. I have a parent just like yours, who wanted me to stay unmarried and childless so that I could care for her the rest of my/her life. That is not right, and you have every absolute right to live your own life....and be happy.

Do you have a job or any schooling? Do you have any other family members of friends that you could stay with for awhile?

Please keep posting...there are many people her who can help.
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Ihatemyself
Reply with quote  #3 
I don't have no friends, I've been shy all my life. I do have a part time job, I'm about to take a CNA class soon.
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Ihatemyself
Reply with quote  #4 
I don't have no friends, I've been shy all my life. I do have a part time job, I'm about to take a CNA class soon.
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Equality
Reply with quote  #5 
I hate myself,

It is a good thing you have a job, hang on to it for dear life, because you need money to get away from your father. Good luck on your CNA-this is definitely your ticket to freedom.

If you are really motivated to move out you could post an ad in a local paper offering to exchange room and board for household chores. There are many folks, especially elders who would be happy with this arrangement, if you are squeaky clean and quiet.

You need a network to survive. Have you considered doing some sort of volunteer work? This is a good way to meet nice people.

Look at Craig's list if you are near a big city, if not call your local elder council to find out what volunteer opportunities there are.



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Eilene
Reply with quote  #6 

Please take the energy you are using to vent and get the heck out now.  I agree that you need to get a support network in place.  Perhaps there are people at your part time job that can be supportive.  You are only 24...I know your take on that is different, but you have your entire life ahead of you...and it's yours to do with as you see fit...We are all here for you.  Look around at the options...

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Janice
Reply with quote  #7 

At your age it's time to start living your own life and making a future for yourself. The CNA class is a wonderful place to begin your plans. After you finish your class and get a job you should be able to move forward and live out on your own. If you make good choices you will do fine away from your parents home. There's a great life out there for you if you want it bad enough!

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Equality
Reply with quote  #8 
http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/vol/2198108072.html

The above is one example of the kind of help you can find on the internet. Seek out what you need and each success will empower you.



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Cathy Howat
Reply with quote  #9 
Lose the tag, Girl, start thinking " I LOVE myself" and "I WILL survive" I did, get the hell out, could you pass the medical for the Armed Services, it's a good road out, the one I took. I was 15 when I did that. I am 56 now.  I have been a Drill Instructor, and then a pilot in the Royal New Zealand Air Force. A bush Pilot for 20 years and a Nurse for the past 13. I am now a carer for my foster Mum--who along with her daughter, Maggie, my ten year junior best friend, has shown me more love than my scumbag parents ever did:


Lose the moniker and lose the deadbeat Bible thumping Dad.

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sierraseven
Reply with quote  #10 

"...tell me I'm a girl and I will get killed going to the world by myself..."


Now, you KNOW that's BS! 

I agree with Cathy - consider the military. If you get a good score on the aptitude test (you can get books to prepare) you can get really good training. You can get away from your father and though it will be hard at first, in a strange environment, you will learn how strong you are. Basic training is tough - more mentally than physically, as long as you are in normal health - but as long as you keep giving your best effort, and not try to get around the rules and regs, it's just a couple of months of the hard stuff, then it gets easier.

If you're not sure it's for you full-time, you can join the National Guard and then if you like it, you can go full-time easily.

I was in the Army National Guard for 21 years. I did some active-duty time, too. I did things I never imagined I could do. Think about it.
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Cathy Howat
Reply with quote  #11 
I was fifteen when I coerced my father into signeing my enlisment papers (mainly by threatening to tell his friends how he got his jollies beating up his kid) !2 months later it was a proud erect Cadet Warrant Officer Howat, who gave her Cadets her final order as cadet Captain. "THE CORPS WILL ADVANCE IN CLOSE COLUMN OF SQAUDRONS, BY THE RIGHT, QUICK MARCH!"  and I marched into a new life with my head high and tears of pride in myself in my eyes.. You CAN do it, you MUST
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Suzi
Reply with quote  #12 
Hi I hate myself.

Please don't hate yourself you are young.  I know in a way of what
you are going through I never really hated myself but I had a mother
who made life miserable.  If you can get away do it.   Once you get
of age and can leave you should.  Your Dad is already beginning to
destroy your self esteem.  Wishing you all the luck in the world.  But you
will find the world a great place once you get away from Dad's verbal
abuse and manipulations.   Please don't give Dad your life and look
back and be so upset because your life was thrown away on a parent
who never loved you at all.   I did that, and now at 55, wish I had
found out at your age and got away.  Now I'm no contact and it is
a great feeling  of not being put down every day and made to feel
like you are not worthy to love on this earth.
You are not those things your Dad's tells you and you can live your
life and be happy.   You will find wonderful people in the world who will
care and you will be happy.   You will start to love yourself!
As a matter of fact, one day while you are living your life Dad won't
enter your mind, you will be free to live your life and know that
all the things he said were not true.
Be good to yourself and it is alright to think about you for once.
That is not selfish, we need to love ourselves first before we really
understand how to love others.   You cannot keep listening to your
Dad's negativity you really begin to believe it.
Take care and if Dad won't change it is nothing you did, so don't
blame yourself.   Live for you before you are old and gray and have
so many regrets that you wasted your life on a parent who just
can't love you and won't.
If your father really is into the bible he would not be treating you
this way, he would know that you need a life and not treat you the
way he does.  I understand really I do.
Take care and let us know how you are doing.
You deserve people who really care and love you.  Love does not
manipulate, put you down, and is never selfish.  Love builds you
up never tears you down.

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Suzi
Reply with quote  #13 
Cathy and sierraseven,

Thank you for your service it is wonderful what you both
have done and accomplished.
I'm so proud of both of you!
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Ihatemyself
Reply with quote  #14 
He trying to bully me by taking my car,
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'daughter'(beth)
Reply with quote  #15 
hon, you are not a child anymore, you are 24, you are a full fledged adult.

Is it your car, did you pay for it ? If so, he cannot take it. Did he pay for the car? If so, it is his, he can take it.

You are brainwashed by him. Do not fall for any more manipulation. Stand up for yourself, be firm. And most of all, leave from there - whatever it takes.

big hugs.
beth

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