Registered: 1516657923 Posts: 1
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My mother in law has been in a nursing home for the past two years after suffering an anyeresum. They tried to kick her out once but we got the state involved and the state said that they couldn't kick her out instead they had to fix the alarm system so that she couldn't get out. They in turn decided to put her on 24/7 sitter care. This means that for close to a year and a half she has had someone one on one with her 24 hours a day. She has gotten used to this and often asks who will be sitting with her next. Two weeks ago, she had an eye doctor's appointment. That evening, she said she was in the worst pain. She said that her eye was killing her and that she couldn't see anything out of it. This left her almost completely blind because the other eye was damaged by the aneryesum. We got her back to the eye doctor and he said it was a pupillary blockage. He gave her some medicine (drops and oral) and said that the pupil should go back down and her vision should return. Ever since this happened she has gone down hill dramatically. Has no energy. Won't open her eyes. Can't get up or even sit up on her own. All she does is lay in bed and sleep now. We have taken her to the ER twice and they say that everything is fine. All her vitals are good, she has been tested for everything they can test for but nothing shows up. We have to have two people to get her to a sitting position to help her eat. On the last trip to the ER, the nursing home told us that if we weren't happy with what they found out at the hospital then we should request for her to be sent somewhere else. Upon asking about that further, my sister in law found out that they would give up her bed if she was gone without a return date or we could pay some astronomical fee to keep it (I think they are just wanting to get rid of her and then say they can't take her back because everything is full). After spending all day at the ER and again being told that everything looked fine we took her back to the nursing home. As we were walking in the door the admin told one of the CNAs to take her back to her room that she needed to speak with the boys. She said that effective immediately that there would be no more sitters. That if she couldn't do anything but lay there then there was no reason for her to have 24 hour sitters. We had to fight that night to get someone to be able to sit with her. When she found out there wasn't going to be anyone there she flipped out asking what she was going to do and how she would make it. We explained that we would do everything we could. They finally got someone to come in that night and said they would keep a sitter on. That was last week. Today when my husband was there they called his brother (after they had come into the room and saw that he was there) and said that the sitter would be taken off. That they would only have a sitter for her at night from 11-7. My question is can this be considered emotional abuse? Here she was forced to have someone watch her every second of the day and she finally got used to it. Then when she becomes so weak that she can't do anything by herself they take that person away. To make it worse, she can't see anything! I am worried that this is going to put her into a bad downhill slide worse than she already is. They tell us that it will be ok because all she has to do is push her call button. Two things on that, 1 she can't see it! How is she supposed to push it. 2. I have personally seen her roommate push the call button and it not be answered for over an hour. I know one thing, I can't hold my urine or other waste in for over an hour so I know an elderly person can't. Is there anything we can do to keep this from happening? We can't move her to another facility because the closest one to us is an hour away from us and everyone else she knows. Not seeing her two sons and her granddaughter everyday will surely send her to the grave. Please let me know if there is any advice that you have. Thank you so much!
Registered: 1430186638 Posts: 46
Reply with quote #2
You are being given the run-around by a facility that wants to concentrate on easier-to-care-for patients and who, coincidentally, are more profitable. I would first contact Jack Halpern, Founder and CEO of , who is a passionate champion of elder care rights and a fierce fighter for elder care issues. My Elder Advocate