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Our Aging Parents > Topics > Money
 
 


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lford5052

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Posts: 2
Posted Reply with quote  #1 
I would like to know what everyone thinks of this.  What would you call it if someone took their mother who has advanced Alzheimer's to the bank and closed out her checking account and opened another account in their name making the account payable to their mother on their death.  Now, in her defense, when confronted, she did return the money.  The only term I can think of would be stealing.  She does not see it as stealing.  Am I missing something here?
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Mike Gamble

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Posts: 48
Posted Reply with quote  #2 
A few questions for you before I can give you a sensible answer:
  1. What is your relationship to the woman with Alzheimer's and her daughter?
  2. Does her daughter have her mother's Financial Power of Attorney or Durable Power of Attorney?
  3. What reasons did her daughter give for transferring her mother's money into a new account?
  4. Who told her daughter that this is what she should do?
Mike Gamble
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lford5052

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Posts: 2
Posted Reply with quote  #3 
She is my mother and I had POA for everything as well as being the Executor of the Trust.

Her reason was that my mother asked her to do it.  My mother does not remember from one minute from the next what she says.  My father passed away in July and she still cannot understand that he has passed.

My sister said she was entitled to half of that money (even though she took all of it).  The bank manager told her she was not allowed to divulge to me what happened to the money, but when I went to the bank with my POA papers, she told me everything.  My sister was furious.  She did return the money when I told her I was going to press charges.

To this day, she says she did not steal the money.  I just want to know what other people would call what she did.
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Splotchy
Posted Reply with quote  #4 
Based on what you have written, it might be greed, or it might be a case of your sister interpreting something your mother actually did say to her as giving her permission to do this.  Perhaps before memory issues began, your mother promised your sister this money.  (Families are strange.)

You would think your sister would run it by you, but sometimes siblings take a parent's words using the "letter of the law" vs. "spirit of the law", especially when there is conflict in the family. 

In my own family, my mom often tries to manipulate people by telling them to take things from her, but most of us refuse, knowing that she is going to need all her assets when she runs out of cash.  You obviously know your sister better than we do, but if your sister is in denial about your mom's memory issues, she might think taking this money is okay to do.   

Or she may just be greedy and want her inheritance early.

No matter what, I'm glad she at least returned the money.   
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Ang778

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Posts: 1
Posted Reply with quote  #5 
If she gave the money back why does it matter what it is called?  

In my opinion, I would say to move on and let it be.
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