I'm so glad I found this forum. It is comforting knowing other people can relate to what I'm going through.
My husband and I live next door to my parents, and have been helping them with things around their house for several years now. Our providing assistance to them has drastically increased since my dad had a fall a couple of months ago. My dad now needs constant supervision due his brain injury, and my mom’s health is very fragile (she has already had a stay in the hospital since his fall).
My parents insist they want to stay in their home, and yet in their current condition, it is not practical. Neither parent can drive at this point, and there are little to no services for the elderly where we live. We have tried to arrange home health care for them, but it has been inconsistent and unreliable. I counted up the number of hours my husband and I have helped them since my Dad’s fall, which on average has been 10 to 15 hours a day. I’ve asked repeatedly for help from my siblings who live several hours away, but have only gotten assistance from them when it is convenient and suits their schedules. (heaven forbid they give up their vacation plans!) Since none of my siblings are willing to offer more help and my Mom tends to paint them a rosy picture of how things are, the burden of caring for my folks is falling on us.
After reading some of the posts in this forum, I’ve decided I have to start setting boundaries and taking care of myself. The difficulties of doing so is why I’m writing this post. This is the first weekend we have left Mom & Dad alone since the fall and Mom has already called five times wanting us to help her with something or just come over and give her a break from watching Dad. My mother makes every request sound like an emergency.
Does anyone on the forum have experience or suggestions about setting boundaries with parents who live next door? I’m beginning to find excuses to be away from the house so that when my mom calls, I don’t have to say “no” to her again!