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Reply with quote  #1 
My mother constantly pesters me about pointless things, then yells at me about them. An example is clipping my fingernails. I do not need to be reminded constantly to clip my fingernails. I like to keep them at a healthy length. But because my preference of fingernail length doesn't meet my mothers' ludicrous standards, she tells me I'm disgusting and yells at me to trim my fingernails. Suddenly, the argument is ACTUALLY about HER feelings, and how ungrateful I am. They're not crazy claws either, they're not even visible over the tip of my finger. We have had several of these petty arguments for years, every other day, and I'm completely sick of it.
Sometimes, they last all day and she ends up isolating me from the rest of the family. She tells them how terrible I am. It's really bad too, because my younger brother belives everything she says. Because of her, he now has this idea that I'm some "out of control" teen that hates everyone and abuses my mother.
Recently, I have stopped engaging with her. If she yells at me, I calmly and respectfully try to talk to her, but she tells me I'm being "monotone, disrespectful, and emotionless".
I feel like shes arguing for the sake of argument, Devils advocate style. She's very petty. She over-exaggerates her words and actions. She always wants everything HER way, and she wants it NOW. Whenever there's an argument, its suddenly about HER and how SHE feels. When she doesn't get what she wants, she does petty little things, like getting the last word or storming off to her room.
I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'm DEFINITELY not perfect, and I've said some bad things to her before. I just can't handle this anymore. Its gone far enough for me to decide to cut her off when I reach adulthood. Right now I depend on her too much, and she uses it as a manipulation tool. She constantly tries to guilt trip me with the fact that she gave birth to me, drives me to school, and feeds me. She's making it really hard to separate from her and live my own life.
She's becoming an obstacle for me to get good grades and have a social life. I've tried everything from behavior websites to doing what she says. What can I do to make it stop?
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Christa4

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Reply with quote  #2 
You need some help from a trustworthy adult. Is there a school guidance counselor you could talk with or a pastor or rabbi? What about a mother of a friend? Please get some help from someone who is levelheaded, mature and will keep your confidence. You need help in coping. You can't change your mother, but you can change how you react.
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