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LisaClink

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Posts: 1
Reply with quote  #1 
Hi, my name is Lisa.  I lost my mom last October and have been taking car of my dad along with help from my sister since January.  He is mean and grumpy.  He has decided to stop using the restroom and only goes in his diaper.  He is weak and he get so stiff from not moving around.  My sister and I live in different towns.  I'm about 60 miles away and my sister is about 80 miles away from my dad.  We take turns staying at his house with him.  We started him on hospice a couple of months ago to help shower him and stuff like that , but when the nurses come, he refuses their help.  Its so hard. 
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moineau

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Posts: 8
Reply with quote  #2 
It all sounds very hard, Lisa, and in the wake of losing your mom. I feel for you. I don't know the state of your dad's brain, but you can only do what you can do. He may need a nursing facility. I suggest discussing all options with the hospice (palliative care?) team and his doctor. It's just so hard to watch our parents become like children. ~Laura in Oregon
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Christa4

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Posts: 37
Reply with quote  #3 
There should be a lot of resources with hospice to help you not only with his physical needs, but his mental state. Would it be possible for you & your sister to meet with someone (social worker or case nurse) together and verbalize your concerns? They should be able to help you with how to handle your dad and what you can do to deal with the challenges. Hospice typically has a whole team of people.

You are going through a lot. It would be tempting to say your dad has gone through a lot and needs understanding - but you and your sister are also going through a lot. You and your sister's relationship is really important. It's wonderful you are working together. I bet you each have other demands in your lives where you are sacrificing. Please take time for your own personal needs as you try to balance everything else in your lives. It is really hard to do that.
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