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Posts: 1
Reply with quote  #1 
I have been taking care of my mother for 2 years before that I took care of my stepfather he had congestive heart failure diabetes and COPD I have 2 brothers and 1 sister all in other states. My husband is also disabled and can only help so much. I also hold a full-time job.

My mother was raised by my aunt so she was really not a great mom. I except that as for the other 3 they don't understand. They afford no help

My mother fell 2 days ago and broke her wrist. I called my eldest brother to tell him she had to have surgery. He has not bothered to call back. Yet he tells me he wants to play the big brother role. Funny

There's not enough money for everything needed. I really don't know how I am going to do this and hold down my job now??

Posts: 17
Reply with quote  #2 
Have you checked into home health care for your Mom? Sometimes, Medicare helps with the cost. I know it's hard to be the only care giver. I am that for My MIL. She has a daughter, but she isn't involved in any of her care or anything. She doesn't call her mother or anything. The care is left up to me and my husband, who is not in good health. He is disability retired with a bad back and has chronic pancreatitis.

Keep trying.


Posts: 53
Reply with quote  #3 
Is there somewhere you can turn for advice only as to resources that might be available? Maybe start with a county Dept of Aging? I don't know if that's a good start or not, but if you can just talk to somebody to get some ideas.
Rene Unas

Posts: 6
Reply with quote  #4 
There is only so much that you can do before you yourself will similarly suffer. To solve your concerns, break down the issues into smaller details to enable you to find solutions. From your narrative, I would recommend the following:
1.) You have to care of yourself. With 2 people depending on you and 3 siblings who are unhelpful, you are left to bear the situation. It is important
     that you stay healthy. Vitamins and exercises will help.
2.) You've got to keep your job. This may be the only positive thing going for you right now and you shouldn't lose it. Discuss with your immediate
     superior so he is aware of your "unique" situation. Although easier said than done, leave your problems at home so you can concentrate fully in
     your job.
3.) Get help immediately-possibly care-giver who will attend to your mom and husband while you are at work. It would be helpful if they can
     be available full time.
4.) Your unhelpful siblings-talk to them, discuss your situation, remind them that they should share in caring for your mother that includes the
     financial aspect. They should also visit regularly but they may be busy (as if you yourself are not) so the monetary assistance is the least they
     can do. It must also be explained to them that the financial "assistance" will be used for the care-giver and other related expenses of your
5.) There is a possibility that your siblings will not assist you financially. In which case, but I hope you do not reach this choice, you may consider
     assisted living.

While admittedly late, I hope these inputs help.


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