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Reply with quote  #16 

My mom would be perfically content to live on wieners, sweet cerial, and milk.  She loves milky-way candy bars, has sucked down countless containers of frosting, and if there's cake, it's not there a day, she'd rather have the sugar than a real meal.  She swares she eats her veggies, but I toss a lot of veggies.   Often, she'll eat in secret, but it's a bite here and there.  

Reply with quote  #17 
Hi Everyone,
Thank you for the care and support and good ideas. The thing is mom has dementia and she is at the stage where I think she is not realizing she is hungry, she does not care to try and chew and seems to feel the easy way is her way, so she does not want the hassle of chewing her food. Her cancer Dr.  has told me this is somewhat normal in patients with alz/dem, either they don't want to put forth the effort to eat, or they forget how to. This type of illness is so hard on the families that are dealing with it. It is much like when your children were babies and they cried and you had to guess what was wrong, but a baby is easier, you can pick them up and take them to a Dr., they cannot stop you, but a grown up, even though they are sick with alz/dem you cannot make them do what they do not want to do.
Reply with quote  #18 
JAH, how very true about your statement about out parents who have dementia and don't want to eat, or they don't realize that they need to eat.  All I can say is keep trying to entice her to eat something, whatever you can get her to eat is better than nothing.  I am in the same shoes with DM's dementia, she will forget that she ate within an hour of eating, or she thinks she already ate and will refuse her food. 

Reply with quote  #19 
Another sibling out of state just contacted me to tell me that my mother has stopped eating/bathing and doing anything to take care of herself.  she just stays in bed .  My mother has been depressed her entire adult life and has always had a difficult relationship with my father.  My mother is coming up on 87 and I believe she is just giving up by demonstrating this last act of control.  If anyone has advice on a senior parent who is in generally good health but is ready to die- I would start the dialog. 


Reply with quote  #20 
Son, I so relate to your post. My mother also went to bed..and she remains there 20 years later. ALL of her issues seem to be tied to her mental illness rather than her physical condition - though 20 years in bed has taken a toll on her strength...though even that is decieveing. She can do things when she wants to. Things she shouldn't!

My mother refuses almost everything I offer her - well, that's not true. She will eat most of it, but she will endlessly complain. She is getting FAT but when she forgets that she ate she will demand another meal and scream neglect until you give it to her.....then she will eat it in HUGE bites all the while complaining about how it tastes like poison.

I don't know what to tell you as far as advice. All I can say is that my mothers mental illness is far harder to deal with than any of her physical needs are...the irony being that most of her physical needs are really caused by her own perception of her condition. She sees herself as quite helpless and pathetic.The fact that she has and still may go on like this for decades will probably be a dealbreaker for me. Eventually. It is having a profoundly negative effect on me I fear. :-(
Reply with quote  #21 
Originally Posted by JAH

We contacted moms cancer Dr and he prescribed something that he feels will stimulate her apetite, we are to try it for a week to see if it does anything to help her to want to eat. We are hoping it will work.

What did the doctor prescribed?   to help her stimuate her appetite.
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