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royalcare

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Posts: 4
Reply with quote  #31 
Tell me how???
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Deborah

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Posts: 17
Reply with quote  #32 
I do this because I can't stand the thought of my Mother-in-law being in a nursing facility. I love her dearly. Does she stress me? Yes, she does, but I don't want her feeling unwanted and unloved.

I had promised my grandmother that she wouldn't go to a nursing facility, and didn't get to keep that promise. Her son put her in one. I didn't have a say in that. I do have a say in my MIL. She will not go there. I know there are good ones, and there are some bad ones.

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Deborah
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Donna2143

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Posts: 3
Reply with quote  #33 
I have to be able to live with myself. My mom is a narcissist and no maternal gene but i can't let her be homeless.
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Donna2143

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Posts: 3
Reply with quote  #34 
It would have helped if my mom had not blown her inheritance and now has no money. It would have helped if she had tried to have relationships with her children and grandchildren. No one except me us incluned to help. I am pissed. If they put hed in she could go to assisted living instead of having no where to go.
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Mike Gamble

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Posts: 31
Reply with quote  #35 
First, assisted living facilities, including memory care facilities, are not as expensive as you might think. To find out more, check out our Assisted Living page.

Second, there are a surprising number of financial assistance programs available in addition to Medicaid. Check out our free 22-page eBook, Where to Find Money for In-Home Care.
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Sean&Kelly

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Posts: 3
Reply with quote  #36 
I do it because I do not want my MIL to spend out her most vulnerable years in a home surrounded by people who do not love her.  Its hard.  Its tiring. It just may be the most overwhelming thing we've had to do. 

And then I think.. She raised the my husband.  Her hands held him. She taught him to be wonderful. She may be a demanding old grumpy bird now.. but at one time she did something great.. and I want to repay her that.

I'm a sap.

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Kelly Keating
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Terpin

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Posts: 11
Reply with quote  #37 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Donna2143
I have to be able to live with myself. My mom is a narcissist and no maternal gene but i can't let her be homeless.


i know my narcissist mother has absolutely no empathy towards me, but heaven help I reflect the same feelings back at her. I have done a lot of therapy to get myself better, but being involved with them is so toxic - I feel like I'm being dragged down the path of co- dependency again, my boundaries are tested constantly.

Intstead of the word "NO" I use the word "NEXT MONTH". Seems to work, then she forgets the next day - in fact the loss of memory is a real gift to me. No matter how angry or nasty she is, she completely forgets it all the next day.
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