Aging Parents and Elder Care logo

Support Group

Find Senior Care Services for Your Loved One

We have partnered with A Place for Mom to help you find the right senior care services for your loved one. A Place for Mom has established a nationwide network of carefully screened senior care providers and facilities ... everything from home care and assisted living to specialized memory care facilities. We are pleased to bring their referral service to you free of charge. (A Place for Mom is paid by their participating senior care providers and facilities.)

A Place for Mom has been helping seniors and their families find the best senior care for their needs and budget for over 10 years. Their knowledgeable and compassionate Senior Living Advisors will guide you through your search and can provide local support and resources. Let A Place for Mom help you online or call toll-free (877) 311-6092.


  Author   Comment  
Reply with quote  #1 
Mother is on max dose aricept, has an off day, sib decides they should just keep giving her higher dosages and she'll be good as new.  Because if she was good on 10 mg, then 20 or 50 or 100mg should be better.  Now that would be some trick - why didn't the experts think of that?!

Also, doctors are supposed to be available at any time and have all answers,  everything is supposed to be fully covered by insurance, and if mother isn't her perky self, she needs FT care or a nursing home... sigh. 

Anyone have to deal with clueless family members and unrealistic thinking?

Reply with quote  #2 
Hi GG....
Interestingly enough, I just had a conversation today with a friend of mine. Her mother has been in a hospital for 2 months recovering from a bad automobile accident. A week ago she was moved to a nursing home, for rehab.
This is the first experience my friend, and all her siblings, have had with nursing homes - and rehab. It is all new to them.
My friend is not the POA, her sister is. I think maybe it is a good thing. Her sister is more calm, more laid back. I think you almost have to be that way sometimes. Yes, you have to stay on top of things at a NH, and ask questions, and all that.
But my friend seems to expect PERFECTION from these nursing homes. She was apalled at  some of the things she witnessed at this one nursing home, in only one week. And yes, some stuff was not great, and I do agree with their decision to move her mother to another one.
But in a way, it was almost like my friend was expecting someone to sit by her mother's side, day and night, and provide one-on-one care. I tried to tell her, it is just not that way at a nursing home, even the best ones. She was appalled that they had her mother on a bed pan. Why couldn't two aides come in, and carry her mother to the bathroom and back? Again, tried to tell her, you don't get that kind of service at a nursing home! You are either on a catheter, a bed pan, or you are mobile and able to inch yourself over to the bathroom, and back.
She was appalled that the respiratory therapist knew nothing about every single medication her mother was taking or why she was taking it. My thought was, well, don't you have to speak with the nurse about the medications? The respiratory therapist was there to help with the breathing and trach tube, etc. She/he would probably not know why every single medication was being administered. But that was appalling to my friend.
She also could not believe that at times there was no one at the nurse's station. The two rehabs my Mom was at, there were several times when no one was at the station. Admittedly, it is not great. You would hope there would be at least one person. But these places, a lot of them, are just low-staffed. And they don't always follow protocol.
Anyways... so I imagine my friend was giving the nursing home staff "what for"... and really, in my mind, requesting somewhat unrealistic, top-of-the-line one-on-one care for her mom, which I doubt she will find, even in the best of nursing homes.
In the meantime, her sister is moving the mom to a different nursing home. Again, I doubt the service will be 'stellar'. But there were some issues at this first one,and I totally agree that if they were not comfortable, they should move her.
Previous Topic | Next Topic

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.