| rosie |
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Reply with quote | #1 |
I have just returned from my respite break, two days early. While Dad was in the respite care facility, he had a bad fall.He slipped off the edge of the bed - a buzzer was available for him to cal for assistance if he needed to go to the toilet or whatever, but of course like most oldsters he didn't use it, he just went to get up of his own accord...
Anyway the upshot is he now has a fractured hip and various contusions. I am waiting for the surgeon to let me know what is planned - obviously surgery is necessary but doubtful whether he will survive it at 96 and very frail.
I saw him in hospital today and he is holding up ok and getting pain management. I am disapointed that it happened and had hoped he would be safe in respite care - don't blame them though as they put everything in place that they could to keep him safe.
I guess it serves me right for taking a holiday? Now things are worse than before I went. If he does survive this he will definitely have to go into permanant care as no way could I manage such intensive elder care.
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| goodwillgal |
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Reply with quote | #2 |
rosie
sorry to read your news. please know that your father's fall had nothing to do with your respite break. the fall was only the result of your father NOT using the precautions put in place for his safety.
the only thing now is to place him in God's care, and let His will be done. (sorry for getting spiritual here, hope it does not offend.)
blessings for an ease for you
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| ~OK~ |
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Reply with quote | #3 |
Oh No, Rosie......
I am so sorry this has happened! As gwg said, this is in no way your own fault. Your dad should have used the help that was available to him and his fall would not have happened
I am sending thoughts and prayers for the best outcome, for you, your sister, and your dad.
~OK~
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| pq |
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Reply with quote | #4 |
Rosie, so so sorry to hear about your dad, but let me echo what goodwillgal and OK said: in no way is this your fault. Sending all positive thoughts and energy your way. |
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| Sparkle |
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Reply with quote | #5 |
Rosie: I am so very sorry about your dad's fall. Do not blame your respite, as it can happen anytime to anyone. As you've probably read, my mom fell and broke her foot and opposite leg. she had to go into a NH for rehab. Just when she had finished her therapy, and was about to go home, she fell in the NH and broke her hip. That required surgery, and her slight dementia became moderate, and it was a nightmare.
So don't blame yourself. Also, in the nursing homes here, they can't even have bed rails, which is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. They consider them restraints!!!! And yes, my mom had a call button, but they wouldn't come for the longest time, and she had to go, and fell trying to get to the bathroom. It could happen anywhere, under any circumstance.
I really hope your dad will come through the surgery well, but be aware the anesthesia has an awful effect on many elderly.
Like Goodwillgal said, only the Lord can handle this now. Put your dad in God's hands, and know that you have done all that you could. I am so sorry-Sparkle
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| NGA |
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Reply with quote | #6 |
Rosie,
Rain falls. Snow falls. Leaves falls. Elders fall. It is a fact of life. Respite, AL, SNF can not prevent falls. They happen. If your dad had been home he may have fallen.
My aunt, in an NH, has seen people fall who are pushing a walker, with a nurse on one side and a family member on the other. She's convinced the person's hip fractured BEFORE the fall. How could that fall have been prevented?
I am so sorry that your respite was cut short by this, but do not blame yourself. You are a loving and caring daughter, so please don't take this accident on as yours, because it isn't.
Please take care of yourself through this new journey and let us know how it all progress.
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| Lil |
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Reply with quote | #7 |
Hi Rosie,
Oh my gosh! What next, hey?
You know if your father had fallen while you were at home with him, you might feel responsible then... even though you would not be. And you sure as shoot'en are not to blame for this fall either. So don't let the negative guilt voices take up parking space in your head?
Instead, know you have done, and are doing and will be doing everything you can. You are a Saint, my dear! And, don't you forget it! 
Hugs to you dear Rosie!
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| lindi143 |
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Reply with quote | #8 |
Hi Rosei,
I am so sorry. I too am under the impressions that bad things happen when I get a break. Last time I went off, got back and Moma ended up int he hospital and almost bled to death from diverticulitis. So I feel the same way you do. Almost not worth going off. You did the best you could nd you deserve to go away.These things just happen.
Anyway, I am sending you hugs and well wishes.
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| Mary E. |
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Reply with quote | #9 |
Hi Rosie,
I am so so sorry that your Dad fell.. When my mother's doctor and nurse practitioner were encouraging me to place her in a NH, because of the danger of her falling at home - I KNEW from reading on these threads, that falls happen anywhere - not JUST at home..
I guess the good thing about being in a facility is that when the fall happens - as so inevitibly it often does with those so weak and frail - that there are professionals around to immediately help them up, evaluate the damage, console, inform family, decide on a course of treatment. When the fall happens at home - if no one is on the premises - it could be a while before someone comes (even in my situation - I could be on errands for a few hours).. I suppose that's why facilities are recommended so often. So, your decision to put your Dad in respite was a good one - perhaps he was destined to fall and might have fallen at home, anyway, and not been attended to each minute..
Your Dad might surprise you with his will to live. He sounds as resilient as my mother - and three years ago when she fractured her hip - we all thought that there was no way she'd make it home again.. Good luck Rosie - please keep us informed. I'll be thinking of you and your Dad each day..
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| Farm Gal |
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Reply with quote | #10 |
Hi rosie. I'm sorry to hear your news. Everybody else has already said it so well, I won't elaborate on the theme "it could have/would have happened wherever he was." That's a fact.
Just want to let you know I'm thinking about you and hoping for the best possible resolution for your dad, you, and your sister. |
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| gracenotes |
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Reply with quote | #11 |
Hi Rosie,
Sorry, I hope things work out for the best possible solution. This could have happened anywhere -- at home or at the facility.
Take care. Will be thinking of you.
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| dnp205 |
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Reply with quote | #12 |
Rosie,
There are things I know my Dad wishes he could have protected me from when I was under his wing (but he couldn't), and now there are things I wish I could protect Mom and Dad from as they depend more on me (but I can't). And there is someone I witnessed almost 30 years ago who had a fight with her then 85 y/o mother, lost control, pushed her, and she fell and hit her head on the corner of the nightstand (thankfully not a severe blow). You must not beat yourself up about an accidental fall. You try, you care, and that's more than enough.
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| Jane in MA |
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Reply with quote | #13 |
Rosie,
Unless you pick your dad up out of bed and carry him to the toilet whenever he needs it, and then carry him around all day,..then this was a fall waiting to happen. It just didn't happen on your watch, that's all.
I am sorry that this happened But! Give yourself a break. He fell because he was stubborn and wanted to prove he is independent. It had nothing to do with your not being there. It could have happened when you yourself went to the market.
This may be his pathway to eternity and rest.. or he may prove he is stubborn enough to hang around and make you take care of him for another ten years! Brace yourself for whatever may come. We are here for you! We care!!!
(((HUGS)))) Jane
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| 'daughter'(beth) |
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Reply with quote | #14 |
that is the same thing that happened with my mom - she was fine at home, never fell, never broke anything. Then when in rehab for her one chemo treatment, she fell and broke her femur!! Those places seem to be geared towards it unfortunately - only because, they have all that stuff sitting around (walkers, wheelchairs,cords,) and the elderlies panic to get to the bathroom and will not call for an aid because let's face it, an aid can take 15 minutes to get there! A little too late. My mom's fall was during the night. She did not switch on a light because obviously, it was too dark to see where to turn on the light or push the 'light' button on the call thing. Unfamiliar surroundings seem to cause more mishaps.
anyways, I rambled and keep us posted. I doubt they will operate. But you never know, they may try if they feel there is no choice.
hugs rosie
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| jeanine |
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Reply with quote | #15 |
Rosie, I am so sorry to hear about your Dad's fall! How awful!
I know from experience that elders can and do fall wherever they are.
It happens. I'm just sorry that he fractured his hip and that it happened on your break time. Do whatever you must now....your dad is 96 and you have done a good job taking care of him.
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