rosie, don't you dare blame yourself for going away. by your own admission, your dad has always been stubborn and done pretty much as he pleased. i hope you enjoyed the time you did have away. you are going to need to draw on that as a reserve for what lies ahead. i'm so sorry he got hurt. i am sorry he is in pain. i guess i'm surprised that they are going to do the surgery as anestics are very hard on old people. i know you feel sick about this but no one can predict what course life will take. you are right, you will not be able to take care of his needs after this so it is time to start making a good plan for his comfort and care in another place. you have been an incredible example of caring to all of us. you KNOW that you never left a stone unturned in his care. please share with us the next steps of this journey. come to us any time you need a shoulder, support or something to share with us. eldercare is universal. no oceans separate our trials, tears or successes and joys. prayers for strength and peace for you and your family. much love.  gail

Oh, Rosie, sorry about your dad. It's true though, they fall everywhere/anytime/all the time. My dad did as well, at home, in hospital, at ALF....with, without people around. And like you I felt guilty each time for no valid reason...please don't believe it was your fault for going away for a couple of days! See what we do to ourselves. Stay strong & Peace be with you - Ann