Glad to have found this! I have been reading non-stop since! Both parents are alcoholics, bi-polar smokers. They are in their early 70's now, drank and smoke their entire life. Both were functioning professionals before retirement. In 2009, the day before Easter, I got a call from my sister (my only sibling and we have never had a relationship), my father, while carrying a large stereo speaker, fell down the stairs at my parents' home at 11:00am and was flown to the ER with major head trauma. My sister pulled me aside and informed me that both mom and dad were drunk. Dad was in a coma for a month, went through PT and OT for months, was in dementia unit for months, then released back home. During the time my father went through this, my mother sold or gave away his tools and belongings, sold the house, moved to a condo. Mom was drinking from morning to night, not giving dad his meds,(he also has diabetes) not feeding him, and allowing him to drink at his will. He started having seziures because of this, and my mother then admitted that she wanted nothing to do with his care, that they were talking about divorce before dad's fall, so we placed him in assisted living, where he does not have access to alcohol. He's not happy about this, but, healthier! His brain damage is extensive, he does not know me sometimes, but he knows this- HE WANTS A DRINK. He's in a good place right now....My mother had since practically drank herself to death. Mother called my sister and said that she couldn't get out of bed one day, we both rushed over to a house of filth. No trash had been taken out, fast food packages everywhere, empty vodka bottles, burn marks in her bed and carpet, etc. She spent a month detoxing then refused after care. She wound up back in the ER, detoxing again, and my sister got a POA. We sent her to a nursing facility to recoup, she did well, after 6 months there, she went back home and continued the cycle. we have just moved her into independent living a month ago. She does not come out of her room except for maybe a meal a day at the dining room. Will not drive to any dr appts, but will go get her vodka twice a week. She lays in bed drinking, and watching tv all day and night. She refuses to go outside to smoke, and has been warned twice not to smoke in her apt. She denies that she has a drinking problem and just wants to be left alone. I took her Christmas decorations for her apt. the other day, she was in bed so drunk she couldn't get out. So I informed the staff, and left. She has called me since telling me that she didn't appreciate me getting the staff involved with her life. I give up.