New to this site! I am taking care of my 89 yr old mom; my father passed on many yrs ago. She lives in my home with me & my husband and 12 yr old daughter. I am her youngest child, but at 49yrs old I'm not exactly young. I was abused by her as a young child and treated horribly, but as I got older I decided to be a strong person and came through it and overlooked things. Even though I did not like my mother, she was always there for me and that counts for a lot! I took on the "chore" of caring for my mother, because she lived alone with no one to help or care for her. She still bathes herself and still eats; she does exceptionally well for someone of this age. She even takes most medications regularly without assistance, except her inhaler, which she cannot grasp the concept of it. She has been with us for 7 yrs now. Even though she can do these things like bathe and eat, and has the memory to take meds, she has had a childish behavior since bringing her to live with us. She is terrible to my daughter(her granddaughter) and there are incidents constantly with her. Of course, being a caretaker involves all things from being a mediator, doctor visits, to calling in medications, to taking care of wounds or conditions that arise from being elderly. She is resentful to me for doing things for her that she can no longer do, because she knows that she is losing her independence and dislikes the fact that I truly am helping to sustain her life and has asked me "why?", my response to her...because I love you Mom. When I saw that my mother needed someone to intervene in her life, no one stepped up to the plate(3 brothers, 1 sister) and offered any help at all. It was up to me to be her "savior" so to speak. She use to drive, and one of the main reasons that I stepped in, was she was telling me that she was driving on the interstate and couldn't figure out where to go and "stopped" in the middle of the interstate. Not good! So I could see she needed help. She does not drive now for 7 yrs, because I take her everywhere she needs to go. She cannot remember how to drive or operate a vehicle, but can remember to take meds. Now she is starting to not want to eat. There are incidents with "bathroom issues" and cleanliness. There are constant changes when taking care of an elderly person, and when you take care of a relative, the affect is more personal. I know that I have taken on a great task, and I have to remember that I'm doing it because I love her and want her to be in loving surroundings, not that the staff in a nh or al are kind, but it really is different. I know her mind is not what it use to be, so I have to take that into consideration and remember that. I always think to myself, I hope that if the time comes when I need "assistance", that someone(my daughter??) will be as loving and kind and patient and understanding as I am trying to be with my mother. That thought gives me the strength to get through my days, along with prayer and my husband!! I have taken on this task and will bite my tongue and ignore certain things and take care of my mother until it gets to a breaking point and I can no longer do it physically or mentally. When it gets to a point that is unhealthly for me in these areas, then it will be very difficult to make other living arrangements. But that's just it, she's still alive, until then, I will continue to assist her. Sorry for such a long post! God bless all of you!