I've been thinking a lot about my relationship with my mom and reading about narcissism and manipulative behavior etc, using your suggestions(Mom's in my head 24/7) setting some boundaries, detaching a bit and feeling a little better too.
My new found boundaries aren't making everyone happy though as mom says that my sister is now having more health and family problems and she's having a hard doing things (not a good time to talk to her) and she wants me to help her more too, with mom of course.
Mom's been acting weirder then usual now too and makes such a big deal of every little thing that is wrong with her. The show she puts on is just so pathetic like she can't even get the banana that is on the table right beside her and she want you to hand it to her as she moans and groans that she is so ill. Well I guess I don't have much patience anymore for all her antics and I am feeling very little guilt just anger and resentment and I am having a hard time moving on from this to some healthier feelings.
Mom told me she called a seniors group and she might go to dinner with them because no one takes her out for dinner anymore (used to be my job for years) but said she told them she might be a 'problem for them' as she couldn't eat regular food, only finger foods because she couldn't cut up her food with a knife or use a fork???? At Easter lunch she was eating pretty well ...with a fork! and she even used her knife!
The dinner outing was short lived anyway because she already canceled and she also canceled her adult day care (canceled 5 or 6 times to date).
She says she's just too ill to go on these outings and will just have to sit at home by all by herself and do nothing.
I thought that my boundaries were fairly small so far and no one would notice but I don't know what else she is up too. Could she be just preparing for her future or maybe she is going downhill fast but one good thing though mom's been a lot nicer since she has been concerning herself with becoming so totally helpless.
I don't want to be insensitive to a genuine problem but I'm finding it very hard to deal with my mom on any level right now. Am I on track with the boundaries or am I missing something?