Yes Raye I do think my mom noticed my health problems but not in the way that I wanted as she just got angry at me and put more demands on me and played more helpless and sicker herself.
â€œas hard as it is to believe you are the only one who really cares about your health.....
its a matter of self preservation life and death yours.â€
Thanks Raye I really agree with that statement. Sorry to hear you have a similar situation to mine and even with your health problems n'mom expects to come first and most of her 'sick symptoms' are just for show.
I am having trouble with not telling my mom how I feel about everything and feel that I want to confront her and I know she won't change but I wonder if it will help me. Has anyone had any success with this in the way you felt afterward? Did it settle things for you? Did you see her for what she really is? Was is any easier to keep boundaries and detach?
Is it ok to say..... 'I don't like it when you ask me to do things for you that you can do yourself. I feel put upon and then I don't want to do anything for you.'
I have been saying..... 'I hope you can continue to do as much as possible as It's always good to keep active.'
I feel like such a wimp when I say that though. It feels to me that I'm sucking up to her and I hate that. I hate pretending and I think that this is a reason for some of my anger.
I'm tried of letting these abusers, these people who only want to hurt you get away with it with nothing, not a word of reproach or anything! Is it really so wrong to want to stand up to them? Ignoring her isn't working for me.
I can see what I really want is for her to just stop to just leave me alone, no demands, no manipulations, no guilt, no pain, no nothing, but this is not going to happen is it?
I see what Prodigal meant now in her post to me awhile back, it's not courage, it's desperation.