'an out-of-control geriatric toddler who you have spoiled rotten over the years'
Prodigal that's a pretty good description, for sure.
Being the youngest of 8 siblings mom got everything she wanted from her 'well to do' mom and family and then my dad took over and then I took over and now my sister. Mom prides herself on always having someone to look after her even if there never was much money in later years.
My sister would always say that mom doesn't phone her or ask her over for dinner and how lucky I was to have mom in my life more. I don't really know why my sister is angry and maybe it's a combination of all the reasons you pointed out Prodigal but I think too when she finally got mom in her life she was quite surprised. She was expecting a mother that was more caring and loving not to be her mother's slave. I don't think either me or my sister knew really what each of us was going through. Now that I am kind of on the outs with mom, I can see some of the stuff my sister had to deal with. My mother actually thinks that I am jealous of the time she is spending with my sister
I took my aunt to visit mom today and as soon as mom started saying that she may not be able to go to the wedding because she was having trouble with her hands and feet etc. I said we could hire an attendant and she could go in a wheelchair as my sister would really like her to attend.
Mom was quite surprised by that and fumbled around for words for a moment but my aunt was there so she let it go with little reaction. Then I said that I have actually been looking at wheelchairs myself lately as I am having more trouble walking and maybe I can get one to go in the trunk of my car and may have to use it at the wedding.
Then mom said that one of her neighbors has a light weight wheelchair that she could get for herself, I guess not to be out done by me.
Ok I'm on a roll here so then I said the the plans we talked about for driving to the wedding were off and she will have to get my sister to take her as I decided that I wasn't going to drive all of them. She complained she couldn't get into her car so I said yes she could as she did it before. Then she said it was hard though and I replied there will be lots of people there to help and it's time that the younger, healthier ones took over.
Still on a roll. I said it doesn't make any sense at all for me to be looking after her when I am worse off then she is. Someone else was going to have to step up. Then my aunt said 'yes and you need help yourself and should be asking your kids to help you'. Thanks aunty. I couldn't look at mom but she made no reply.
Mom was very subdued after that, didn't say much of anything, no more complaints anyway.
I know this was a sneaky way to do it and I feel like a real coward speaking up to mom with my aunt there but I just had to get the words out and the rest I think that I can handle myself.
I hope I got this right this time.