Hello Sisters in Hell....
NoName, you hit it right on the head with sneaking in and out so she doesn't know if you are coming or going. I do that ALL the time with my MIL. If she hears me and calls for me, I tell her that I have to run to the bathroom, but then just don't go back downstairs. It has even gotten to the point that she asks my husband where I am, if I have gone out to take my daughter to school and come back, if I am not going to work at my usual time etc. It drives me crazy.. I want to say something to her, but don't know how to do it. She already thinks I am a b"#ch so I don't care about that, but just having one person try to keep track of me drives me insane. I don't want to know, nor ask her what she is doing every day, or where she is going. Maybe I should so she would get the hint.
Also, some of us live with our MIL's - actually moved into their home (being the idiot that I am ) and now have no way of moving out!!! Well, I guess I could move out, but hubby wouldn't go with me etc.. So, I am stuck here. I thought maybe about buying a home in another state so that when the time comes (when hell freezes over) and we tell mom that she is on her own, and she has to pay someone to live with her, DH would have someplace to go. I am 39 and have never owned a house, and don't think I will until this lady dies. I have this fear that it will come back to haunt me in some way, even though I can say NO!!..
My husband helps by telling me to get out of the house, but I don't think he gets it. I want to go away and do things with HIM. Not by myself. And we can't do that because we have to be home to feed her lunch. UGH>>>
I just wish that this was a nightmare. Life is too short to have to experience elderly selfish people. My mother wouldn't do this to me, and she doesn't want me living with her. She would rather go to AL or a nursing home, and my husband thinks that is awful that I don't want to take care of her. HIS mother made me see the light of day, that I never want to take care of my parents. That is what AL is for. Sorry if that seems harsh, but I have learned alot from this board.