What I find difficult is that as dad refuses to put his name on any nursing home lists, I have no idea what would happen if he became too disabled for me to physically care for. I have rung our local carers association, and they just said, oh, you can call us; but they don't give me any idea of what could happen. The public hospital system can no longer keep "geriatrics in waiting", and the private hospitals are not really set up for that sort of thing. To get into a nursing home you need to have put your name on the list and it takes ages to get in, although I know that people with personal contacts in these places jump the queue. People who were in the services are entitled to wait in the repat hospital, but dad was in a reserved occupation during the war. I have spoken to all sorts of people but no-one can give me answers, they just say, oh, he will just go "in somewhere", and "the authorities/hospital will take over" - but actually they don't if you are a self-funded retiree. If he was a pensioner I think social services assist but in our case they won't. So I am in constant turmoil worrying about this.