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Heifey
Hello all, I am new to the group and in desperate need to vent. 
Just under 2 months ago I moved my mother from another state to live with me and my husband.  She is 84 and lived with my niece (her granddaughter) who I feel neglected her and eventually left her penniless.  I had been asking my mom for years to come live with us so I could stop worrying about her being I was so far away.  Now my mother is not in perfect health by any stretch, but she is not an invalid either.  I know she did a lot for herself when she lived with my niece.   BUT NOW she acts like a complete invalid and refuses to do anything for herself.  Although she has some problems with mobility, I do believe she is acting more helpless than she is because she wants me to wait on her hand  and foot.  I do believe she has mild dementia, but again, in a matter of 6 weeks she has dropped like a stone.  Also may I add, it has been quite clear all my life that my 2 brothers were always her favorite.  Then when my niece came along (30 yrs ago) it was clear I moved back yet another notch.  Despite all this, I am the only one that has always made sure she was had all she needed and was taken care of.  I feel she takes all that me and my husband have tried to do for granted, and I am getting more and more resentful by the day.
I should feel bad by saying this, but sometimes I wish I had kept my big mouth shut!!!
Guess that's one of the consequences of having a conscience.
Thanks for letting me vent!
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Anonymous
It is very hard to take care of a parent.  My mother was 89 when she passed away in a nursing home.  The nursing home basically caused her downhill deterioration.  I would have taken her to live with me, but I have my own health issues.  I barely get around myself.  My husband was very sick, and dying of cancer, but he was taking care of me.  Now he passed away.  My daughter does all she can for me.  I do not get around good, but I am still living in my house. Your Mom is still your Mom, and when she passes away you will think of things that maybe you should have done well she was with you.  Life is Too Short to hold grudges.  Do the best you can, so when she passes away you will have no guilt.  I never thought I would be in the bad shape I am in.  I think back to when I did not understand some of my Mom's issues, and now I feel like I am her.  It is scary
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